5 pink and white marble easter eggs on white background

The Hoo-Ha about Hoo-Hoos

Karin Kallmaker Simply the Best 47 Comments

So I was looking up the history and use of “hoo hoo,” you know, like you do when you’re a writer and you want to be sure that what you think a phrase means is the generally accepted definition.

What’s the Hoo-Ha about Hoo-Hoos?

I confirmed that “hoo-hoo” is a euphemism for lady bits. I was grateful to do so without having to confront the often exceedingly graphic definitions at The Urban Dictionary. As with Mahjong, I found variation in the spelling – to hyphenate or not to hyphenate?

So I asked on various folks on Facebook. There was no consensus about whether the hyphen was required. One person – dead serious I’m sure – thought the hyphen made it more elegant. The Interwebz didn’t have a definitive opinion, and I wasn’t about to click on any site that wanted to show me images. If I’m looking to look, I can always refer to Femalia.

I decided on the hyphen because, sure, it’s more elegant.

Hoo-Hoo Research

Why was I looking up uses of “hoo-hoo”? Simply the Best is set inside a wildly successful women’s lifestyle and wellness company. My deep dive into the women’s wellness industry turned up a product called a yoni egg, which is a rock sold to correct imperfect hoo-hoos. I hadn’t known that any hoo-hoo could be less than perfect!

“So on top of her face, her skin, her makeup, her weight, her hair, and her clothes, women are also supposed to be worried about whether they have perfect vaginal walls?” – CC from Simply the Best

Making women insecure is the road to riches. Meanwhile, there is zero evidence that yoni eggs have any efficacy. Don’t believe me, ask Dr. Jen Gunter, I dare you.

The International Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo

Women who love women could generally think that if there’s a Hoo-Hoo Club, they’re automatically enrolled. I mean, well, we’re generally “yes please” when it comes to hoo-hoos, and most of us have hoo-hoos. A membership card seems a little over-the-top, though.

the 1915 Hoo-Hoo cards will be delayed

Oh, the things that fascinate writers and lure us down rabbit holes of minutiae. I did find in existence, since at least 1892, the International Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo. (I’m sorry, I can’t type that without giggling. Ahem.)

I could not confirm that the modern use of “hoo-hoo” to mean “lady bits” in any way evolved from the antiquated use of “hoo-hoo” to mean “concerned with wood.” And I’ll spare you the ultimate rabbit hole on why hoo-hoo was equated with lumbering. Short answer: translation of an ancient Chinese poem wherein lumberfolk holler with great cheer.

It’s a perfect example of things writers take time to exhaustively learn, and know of course not to put in books because our editors strike it all out with red pen words like “no” and “boring” and “jibber jabber.” So we desperately wish these details would show up in a Jeopardy category. “I’ll take Hoo-Hoo for $200, Alex.” Only it wouldn’t be Alex (RIP, Quiz Master). Maybe it’ll soon be “I’ll take Hoo-Hoo for $200, LeVar.” (LeVar Burton’s guest hosting tryout to replace Alex Trebeck starts this Monday. But I digress.)

Abomination or Gag Gift?

The main characters of Simply the Best argue about yoni eggs, though they are generally in agreement when it comes to what does belong in hoo-hoos. You can learn more about Pepper and Alice, and what they agree on, when the book comes out in just 3 more weeks.

Meanwhile, there’s a lengthy excerpt at the book’s All About page. And this teaser:

Copyrighted Material

Comments 47

  1. Post
    woman making excited winner gesture while looking at cell phone in a coffee shop

    The winner of Simply the Best audiobook is:

    Shannon Herron

    Shannon: You’ll receive instructions on how to claim your download. Please check the email (and its spam folder) that you used to comment. Congratulations! I hope the story and Abby’s voice bring you happiness this holiday season!

  2. Thank you for sharing the interesting research on hoo-hoo’s. I did meet a gentleman in Key West who used hoo hoo to describe the boys dangly bits on the bar at Bourbon Street. Also thank you for offering the giveaway, I can’t wait to listen!

    1. Post

      LOLOL! I never thought of it for the male dangly bits, but it’s perfect. In fact, since it apparently can mean both, it could be the perfect catch-all for anybody’s bits, dangling, not dangling, unknown. Funnier than “junk.”

      Random facts in my head: the dangly bits are uhaua in Hawaiian. One teen tells another “You want one to leave you alone, you just tell him you’ll put his uhaua in a blender.”

  3. Is this where I apply for my woodwork mastery hoo-hoo certification? This was a very funny and informative blog!! Thanks for doing the research!

    1. Post
  4. Happy holidays and Merry Christmas from down under where the temperature on Christmas Day is expected to be 42 degrees C in Perth. May you enjoy a safe Christmas wherever you are. xo.

  5. Please enter me for the simply the best giveaway. Thank you. I hope you have aVery Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year!

    1. Abby Craden is great. There are a couple of scenes where people are intense and she reads them really well. I was hooked, and I pretty much knew what was going to happen but it didn’t matter. g

  6. All I want for Christmas is my personal Hoo-Hoo card. (And your book, of course!). Merry Christmas!

    1. Yes, Hoo-Ha but not Hoo Hoo! Learn something new every day. Would love to be entered for the giveaway
      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Yall!

  7. How can we not want to be “Simply the Best” ? Only way I can see is to get the give away and skip the yoni eggs!

  8. Simply the best sounds like a must. If there is still one available it would seriously appreciated. Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year for you and your loved ones!

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