All About If Only They Knew

“If Only They Knew” was originally published in Best Lesbian Love Stories 2004 (Alyson). Revision copyright 2018.

From “If Only They Knew”

“And lord knows, getting older isn’t a party game,” I add. I think about dropping appetite-killing phrases like skin barnacle and vaginal dryness into the conversation, but decide to be kind.

The brunette puts her arm possessively around her blond paramour. I can’t see their name cards. “I think it’s great and all, you guys being together so long, but is that really the only model for a queer life?”

“Of course not. I’m Cheri, by the way.” I add a nod because it would be impossible to reach across the table of eight.

“Suze, and this is Ilene.” Ilene, apparently, did not speak.

“What brings you to the awards tonight?” It’s enough of a diversion and Suze expounds on her commitment to the lesbian community while I sneak a glance at Margot.

She’s looking at me, and her eyes are twinkling.

We already sent the money, she says to me in the car. We don’t have to actually show up. I point out the great parking space. She agrees but she’s still not making any move to open her door.

She turns in the seat, abruptly. Another button has come undone on her blouse. “It’s been ages since we made out in the car.”